Friday, April 5, 2013

What's in a name?

When I started this blog, it had a very different title and a very different tone. "Stumbling Into Adulthood" - the first incarnation of this site- was written by a not-quite-grownup struggling to figure out how to be a single parent to herself, in a city where millionaires are poor and poor folks have nannies.

Now, four years and many lessons later I no longer feel like I'm stumbling and I can safely say that I'm an official adult. Stumbling  implies a feeling of forward motion that is being propelled by momentum- or even panic- but not by purpose. Sure, I was progressing, but to what? To where? And why? Who has time to think about things like that? Just keep your head down and go, go g

I don't regret the speed and intensity of my 20's. There's a little maniac inside me that needed the steady stream of adrenaline and had cravings for action, excitement, and grandeur that needed to be satiated. For those of y'all that are yogis, I guess you could say I had karma that needed to be played out. I don't anticipate needing a midlife crisis because my last decade has been THOROUGHLY wild and fun. No regrets here. I used my youth to its fullest.

But I digress...Once you start to emerge from the fog of your 20s and turn in a new direction, where do you go? You go the OPPOSITE of out. I've entered a period of pratyahara or "drawing inward". I spent more time alone and more time at home. I sleep more, socialize less. Read more, talk less. Oh, and meditation! I've committed to a 20 minute daily meditation practice, typically reeeaaally early around 5:30/6:00am. So ya, in other partying. Can't because of the heart but have no desire to do it anyway.

It's hard to grow when you're never alone. "A Room of One's Ohm" refers to any place where you can go, be still, and turn off. Doesn't even need to be a real room because as many of you know, our apartment only has like one room. So my TV room and dog playing room is also my "meditation room" every day before 8am. I've tried to meditate regularly many times in my life but I feel like this time the habit has been formed and I'm truly converted. I honestly can't imagine waking up and NOT meditating at this point, particularly with my surgery less than 2 months away.

I do believe that meditation has transformative powers. I'd love to hear stories of how regular meditation practice has enriched your lives.