Saturday, July 3, 2010

“Everytime a child says 'I don't believe in fairies,' there's a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead.”

Yah, Peter Pan said that...damn I never realized how deep that quote was til I joined the ranks of adultdom.

Everyone is sooo damn realistic. And completely devoid of whimsy. Ok, ok NOT everyone. Particularly not "my everyone". I live in a neighborhood of gays and performers and socialize with many folk who are pretty damn creative. In fact, I am quite mainstream compared to many of my compadres from an external view. And yet on the inside...I'm a child. I'm a thinker. I think thoughts that are completely inconsequential and more often than not, quite random. They are probably more like feelings than thoughts, but that is what goes on in the big ole brain inside my big ole head. And I crack myself up ALL the time with my silly little thoughts. The other day, one of my dog run friends commented that I looked like a little girl, both in outfit and demeanor. I take that as the ultimate compliment. I don't want to go back in time to my childhood, because I know having a young spirit has little to do with your actual age.

One of the most fulfilling pastimes I've developed over the past 5 years or so is reading Women's magazines. Not YOUNG women's magazines (Glamour, Cosmo, etc.) that tell you how to make your butt better and your face younger and your man not cheat and the like. No, I mean rrreeeaaaal women's magazines, published by and for women who don't shop at Forever 21 and H&M. Women who have largely given up on their asses and have instead turned their attention to their spirits and their souls. Damn, what a lovely transition of energy that is. Not to say I don't care about my butt at ALL, but I do give a BIG old damn about my spirit and the way I direct my energy (and I have a lottt of energy).

This afternoon I read a couple of quotes (in "Whole Living" - a magazine published by Martha Stewart) that spoke to me and I"m gonna share them with anyone who cares. The first, pretty much explains the reason I blog: "Good ideas vanish if we don't have places- mental and physical- to put them". WOW how mind-blowingly true is that? Sure I do shit all day (and often all night) at work, but my ideas...where do they go? Sometimes I tell people, but usually they just make me chuckle and then disappear! What a waste. So when I have time...I blog them. It makes me happy to write things I think about. So I do it. That's it.

The second makes me a little wistful...for my best friend (who will remain nameless as everyone else in this blog other than my dog who as my dependant, has no choice- sort of like the Gosselin children). The title of the article is "Small Talk Shrinks Happiness" and goes on to present scientific research that talking about bullshit diminishes our Happiness. And DAMN I hate small talk! I specifically will not live in a building with a doorman for this reason. If a random girl asks me what kind of hair products I use (bc I do have a lovely head of hair) I tell her sunshine and dog slobber- not just because it's true, but so she knows I'm not into that kind of conversation. Some of the happiest hours of my life have been spent across a table from my best friend (ok...we were probably DRUNK but we were in college, so you know - when weren't we drunk) discussing Life and all of it's infiniteness. I actually love discussing "ness". The state of being and things that make us tick and tock. Sometimes I fantasize about becoming a therapist because I'd like to tell people everything I think about all the time...but then again they'd probably just say "um, can't you just write me a prescription so I can go back to work and be productive. Oh, and please not one of those anti-depressants that will make me fat. because I care about my butt more than my soul."

Anyway that's what I read/thought about today! Off to skip down the street with my dog! Hope everyone has had a chance to be a "human being" and not a "human doing" today!