Tuesday, May 4, 2010

If You Have to Cry Go Outside (or move back to the burbs)


On the recommendation of a friend/former roommate/former coworker/current neighbor (the lovely Samantha Halsey) I started reading Kelly Cutrone's book "If You Have to Cry Go Outside" which of course she didn't actually write herself. It's a quick read, an interesting one, and one that is scarily applicable to my life. I'm about 2 rich husbands, 2 divorces, 1 illegitimate daughter, 1 meth addiction, and 19 years away from BEING Kelly Cutrone.

I'll start with what I don't like about it: First, the writing is basically shit. I think almost all writing is shit these days, and particularly most modern autobiographies/biographies or "hey, you can be just like me when you grow up" books. I can give credit to a book like "Eat, Pray, Love" because Elizabeth Gilbert actually has a writing "style". That's something that I was never really able to develop during my time at Columbia. Even though I could churn out a fabulous 30 page literary analysis paper on 2 hours of sleep without proofreading it and get an A, I've never been much of a creative writer...but I digress.

Yes, so it's poorly written and I read 170 pages of it in 2.5 hours while laying out after having 2 frozen margaritas. The next issue I have with it is that she mentions very little about what a HUGE impact her first marriage (to Warhol protege Ronnie Cutrone) had on her life. HELLO??? You work in PR and have no money then marry someone who is rich, fabulous, chic, and sought after at age 21? Please don't even try to tell me that your career might have taken 10 more years to take off had you not been granted access to his funds, social circle, and lifestyle. Maybe I'm just bitter but if I had married say, one of the dudes from Vampire Weekend (who lived on my floor Freshman Year), I think I'd have a slighly easier time becoming a PR "impresario" than I am living with Lala in my Hells Kitchen walk up.

Finally, I am vaguely uncomfortable about the title of the book. Nowhere, thus far, does Kelly ever mention HERSELF wanting to cry and thus needing to excuse herself. I have never felt the urge to cry at work...not even close. And I bet a lot of other current and future "power girls" as Kelly likes to say haven't either. If your job makes you cry, you are probably in the wrong industry. Or the wrong city. I would say 95% of people in this world are not cut out to work in NYC period. In any industry. Let alone in the cutthroat world of fashion PR. And you know what? You can leave. And no one will shed a tear.