Thursday, May 13, 2010

Bad Boys (and girls) Whatcha Gonna Do?

Living in NYC you see all KINDS of crazy and shady drug-addicted characters...the homeless alcoholic bum who I see EVERY GODDAMN DAY on my way to work ("hi mami- I love you- mami! HEY Mamiii- I love you- I really love you. Can I get 20 cent???"), the tweaked-out drag queens sashaying up 9th Avenue from an all-night party at 8am while I'm sashaying down to catch the M11 to work, and of course my neighbors!!

I used to live next door to a methadone clinic, which was quite entertaining. Heroin people don't freak me out bc they move too slow to really mess with you. If you've never seen anyone doing "the lean" I gotta's quite amusing. I'll never forget 2 years ago when my sis and I had just finished the breast cancer walk. We were with about 200 other jolly pink-tshirt do-gooder types in the 96th St. 6 train station and there was an old lady who stood out alone for NOT wearing pink doing the lean so hard I was sure the train was gonna come and smack her right in the head. All the tourists were HORRIFIED. I was kinda sad when the clinic closed. When I go out for early morning runs now there's not an audience bowing to me! lolll!

Oh, and of course I can't forget the home for unwed mothers across the street! I couldn't even count the number of times I've watched a young mom roll up a joint on the back of her baby's stroller in broad daylight.

My favorite crackhead ever was the dude who used to hang out on 113th street in front of my sorority house. Sure he used to steal other students' bikes but I didn't mind him. He and I kept similar hours back then during my clubbing years! Sometimes he'd actually scold me "girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl WHY you be out so late." Yes, scolded, by a crackhead, creeping in at 7am while my sisters (many of whom were far more "let's bake and paint each other's toenails and talk about boyyyyyyyyyys" than "let's stay out dancing til 7am". His favorite thing to do was "wash" this white Lexus SUV with what could have been a dirty t-shirt or god knows what else he could find to rub the car with. One day I asked him "Hey Mr. Crackhead sir" (i did not really call him this) "why you always washing that car". Without missing a beat he responded "cuz when the rich white lady that owns this car comes out and see me she gon' ask me to marry her". This crackhead had so much in common with many of my gold-digging sisters, I almost asked him to pledge our sorority right then and there!

So anyway, I was thinking about this because a friend of mine ________ _________ (name withheld for her protection) got arrested, cuffed and taken "downtown" for puffing a tiny bit of marijuana openly in NYC the other day. I was absolutely shocked! Never had I heard of such a thing. A nice, sweet-looking white lady (not one of the minorities that the damn NYPD looooves to F with) and another sweet-looking harmless caucasian Gay male just minding their own business, smoking a little grass on a sunny day. Mind you, this was 3 blocks away from where the suspected "bomb" in Times Square had been found less than 24 hours earlier. So you know, clearly the cops had nothing better to do than bust them for smoking weed which has actually been decriminalized in NY. Since that happened about 10 days ago, there was not a SINGLE day that I did NOT walk past at least one person openly smoking weed on the streets. Until my friend got locked up I just figured the cops were cool with it!

Anyway I'm not here to preach for or against drug use but as much as they try to Disney-fy NYC, narcotics and the NY'ers that love em ain't goin nowhere.