Sunday, April 18, 2010

Thank you ALLURE for confirming what I already knew!

I'm YOUNG! Yes, despite the fact that I am suddenly older than everyone one I watch on TV and listen to on the radio, according to the April issue of Allure Magazine I am still 10 LONG years away from my peak.

According to their panel of experts, age 36 is the "new age of heightened desirability" for us ladies...Current members of the 36-years-young club include Allure's cover girl Heidi Klum and model turned mogul Tyra Banks.

This is GREAT news for those of us creeeeping somewhat reluctantly into our late 20's and early 30's. Despite the fact that we are bombarded with images far more youthful icons on magazine covers (hi, Miley Cyrus on the cover of Vanity Fair) and the pop charts (Ke$ha?? Really??) it turns out that those ladies are nowhere near as physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually perfect as women old enough to be their mothers.

Do I feel old? Well, no not at all. I feel not a day older than my 13 and quite a bit LESS wise than I thought I was back then. Somewhere along the line me and most of my girlfriends all started believing that we had to be "finalized" by the time we hit 30. And for women that means husband, house, baby, career (listed in no particular order). We also foolishly assume that our college age sins -binge drinking, maxing out credit cards, smoking, romancing inappropriate men- will be left behind and we will suddenly transform into mature women- never caught dead in public with unpainted nails, ratty old sweatpants or greasy hair.

HA! As I sit here unmanicured in my pjs with my hair piled haphazardly upon my head (with a PEN!) after a long night of drinking I've got news for ya- I do NOT feel like a grown up. My closet has more items from Target than I care to admit, and more often that not I walk to work in flip flops with wet hair. I don't have Tim Gunn's "10 Essential Elements" hanging perfectly-pressed in my closet. In fact, I didn't even own an iron until 2 weeks ago when my mom bought me one. I don't own a single suit (thanks non-corporate job!) nor do I have a skin-care regimen. I couldn't tell you which is my good side, since in most photos I am making some sort of goofy face or smiling an unattractively large smile.

Sometimes I beat myself up for these shortcomings. Sure, I've managed to support myself- in Manhattan no less- and have come a long way since graduation (proud to say my credit score is 784 and I can count the times I actually get wasted in a month on one hand) but a part of me wishes I had a lot more figured out. How pale can I actually get before people ask if I am sick? How do I stand in photos so as to not look twice as large as my thinner and more petite friends? How do I maintain a clean-house and organized closet without hiring a maid or just throwing out half my junk? These are small problems of course, but ones I would like to eventually figure out. Someday I'd like to be a woman with a streamlined wardrobe full of only classy, flattering clothing and a shoe collection that is as comfortable as it is chic. I'd like to have a hair style (ANY style) and be diligent about washing off my eyemakeup at night, and then reapplying it in the morning (though sometimes 2nd day mascara looks pretty damn good...). I'd like to have an apartment that is large and well-maintained enough for house guests and a Facebook page that is suitable for both my boss and my children (this is clearly a distant goal) to view.

So yah, I'm 26 and I'm not quite there yet. I'm still a work in progress but I think that in 10 years I might just get there. Though I doubt anyone will be comparing me to Heidi Klum :).